Suddenly there he was, and all the emotion came flooding back like a gigantic wave crashing against a rocky coast. It had been weeks since I last seen him and actually had begun to stop thinking about him all the time. Things at home with theMan had calmed, Obamakin had returned from the South and I enjoyed a good Birthday Week. Life had seemed to settled down again. I still wasn't happy but at least I wasn't reminded of it daily. But there PrettyEyez was - just feet away - and with unsettling quickness, all those feelings came rushing back.
For a brief moment, I almost thought about calling out his name but instead I slowed my pace until he disappeared up the escalator. What would I say anways? "Happy Birthday, sorry for blowing you off since that night." The damage had already been done and my trip back to Slummerville was spent thinking about him. By the time I hit Davis Square, I was agitated and the humidity didn't make it any better. At home, I attempted to distract myself by going blading but only succeeded in making myself sweaty and more aggravated.
Only after a shower, did I begin to cool down and begin to put things in perspective. I should not be surprised by my reaction to seeing PrettyEyez. I realized a while ago that he had come to symbolize my unhappiness with the way life is these days. Seeing him only reminds me of what I can't have. Which makes me angry because I have no one to blame but myself. Because in the end it has been my choices which have led me to this point in my life. So if happiness is what I seek, then I need to begin making better choices. If life was only that simple.
Happy Birthday, PrettyEyez!
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