Snowy Night

The Snow is Falling

It's Friday Night

TheMan has gone out to Dinner

Playing some new John Legend

Pouring a Gin and Tonic

And ready to Smoke

Life can be Good Sometimes

War is from Mars, love is from Venus - The Boston Globe

War is from Mars, love is from Venus - The Boston Globe

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Last Week was a Good Week

A week later, it's easier to reflect back on last weeks historic election and it's meaning. Since Obama became our next President, I've read and heard countless interpretations and analysis of this event. For some it was about race, for some it was about change. For some it was about the economy while for others it was about the last eight years of Bush. But in the end they all agreed on one thing - it was historic and America had entered into a new era.

For me, it was sort of a confirmation of who I am. As I have listened to him over the past few years, I can hear and see alot of myself in Obama. His vision of the world, his attitude toward race and his philosphy on leadership are all things I share. But above all, it's the experience of growing up bi and multi racial in America. Unable to fit nicely in any of the catergories which society has forced upon us, it easy to feel isolated and alone as a multi racial American.

But with Obama's rise to power, he has ushered in a new era for America. Whether you like it or not, he will become the face of America for the next 4 to 8 years. A true representation of what America is - a snapshot of the world's many nationalities. A true United Nation! Yes, last week was a good week!

Old Habits Die Hard

Just when everything seemed cool, its funny how quickly things can change. After a boring Saturday of hanging out and doing nothing, I decided to go out for a few drinks and dancing. The next thing I knew, Flippa showed up - minus the new BF. Since he's been back things have been cool, and we've refrained from falling back into old habits. That was before a few drinks and some dancing.

The next thing I know we are making out in a cab on the way home, stripping off clothes the minute the door closes and on the living room floor before we knew it. The next morning we woke up on the floor, and we laughed. Despite how much had changed - many things remained the same. In a world so complex, simple human connections are the anchors which keep us afloat.

In the end, it was good night.

Just Another Night in Boston

This is what I was really thinking about while making out with that Asian Boy this weekend at Paradise. That was until you know who showed up - PrettyEyez. Talk about throwing me off my grove.

Tales of the Summer

So where have I been for the past three months?

Well like most Americans, I haven't gone far - because gas is so damn expensive. So I did what most people did this summer - vacationed in their backyard. Granted, I have no backyard so the Charles River and Crane's Beach had to do. It was a big disappointment after all the plans I had for this summer. But that's life, and it could have been worse.


Things began to unravel right after my birthday at the end of June. As many of my friends will attest to, I tend to use my birthday as an excuse to go on one of my binges and have as much fun as I can. This year was no different as I celebrated for 3 days and needed another 2 days to recover. By the time I dragged myself back to work after a few days off, things began to get unravel.


At work, the Gang of Five decided to deal with the slow down in business by cutting bonuses and halting most OT, a big chunk of change in my pay check.


With the family, the law finally caught up to my brother, Guy-Y, who has managed to avoid being thrown in jail all these years despite his many Run-In's with the local authorities. Naturally Mama2tone is upset, but I can't help thinking - yeah I feel bad, too, but you know what, you wanna be a wiseguy - then be ready to pay the price when you get caught.


As for my friends, Obamakin spent most of the summer down South (asshole), LordVadar obsessed about the falling economy (and his shrinking bank account, I would assume), Flippa officially moved back to Boston and had trouble with housing (Boston is not cheap honey) and I learned the KMan was back on the pipe (shame - shame for doing that shit at your age).


The results of all this - along with the fact I was stuck in Boston all summer, was stress and a warning from my doctor to clean up my act. This was at the beginning of September. Since then, I've attempted to right the ship but some habits die hard - like my penchants for stirring up trouble at work and enjoying my weekends.


But all in all, I feel better as Fall comes to New England. As the leaves begin to change, I've chosen to undergo some changes myself. I've decided to use a different tact at work (play their game and beat them at it) and tried to be more empathetic with my family and friends (not always easy given the group I have to work with). Also, Obamakin has returned, which has made things better. It wasn't until he was gone for most of the summer that I realized something. I actually missed the mutha fucka. Welcome home, friend, it's been a long summer! I've missed you!

The Bear has Awakened!

Contrary to rumors, my demise has been greatly exaggerated. Yes, 2tone's World was rocked all summer with one crisis after another but unlike the Lehman Brother's I'm still standing. With alot of help from my family and friends, as well as my own inner strength, I managed to make it through the summer and actually not ask Washington for a bail out.

What happened? Well I'd be writing all night if I went into detail. But to make a long story short, I had problems at work (what else is new), had problems with my personal life (same old story), had to deal with family issues (who's family isn't crazy) and suddenly found money to be tight (like everyone else). Add to the mix, my dysfunctional friends and problems with stress, it was the summer from Hell.

But on the bright side, my summer wasn't as bad as some people's. Looking back over the past two months, there are a few who stick out:

Wall Street - it's hard to feel bad for the rich and greedy so why even pretend.

China - sure the Olympics were nice but storms, earthquakes, rebellions and tainted products would stress out anyone.

Georgia - didn't your momma tell you never to wake a sleeping bear, especially a Russian one?

Bush - has any President been so irrelevent in his final days of office?

Tom Brady - he blows out his knee in game one and will be stuck carrying Gisele's stuff around all season.

Oh, In Case You Forgot

Suddenly there he was, and all the emotion came flooding back like a gigantic wave crashing against a rocky coast. It had been weeks since I last seen him and actually had begun to stop thinking about him all the time. Things at home with theMan had calmed, Obamakin had returned from the South and I enjoyed a good Birthday Week. Life had seemed to settled down again. I still wasn't happy but at least I wasn't reminded of it daily. But there PrettyEyez was - just feet away - and with unsettling quickness, all those feelings came rushing back.

For a brief moment, I almost thought about calling out his name but instead I slowed my pace until he disappeared up the escalator. What would I say anways? "Happy Birthday, sorry for blowing you off since that night." The damage had already been done and my trip back to Slummerville was spent thinking about him. By the time I hit Davis Square, I was agitated and the humidity didn't make it any better. At home, I attempted to distract myself by going blading but only succeeded in making myself sweaty and more aggravated.

Only after a shower, did I begin to cool down and begin to put things in perspective. I should not be surprised by my reaction to seeing PrettyEyez. I realized a while ago that he had come to symbolize my unhappiness with the way life is these days. Seeing him only reminds me of what I can't have. Which makes me angry because I have no one to blame but myself. Because in the end it has been my choices which have led me to this point in my life. So if happiness is what I seek, then I need to begin making better choices. If life was only that simple.

Happy Birthday, PrettyEyez!

10 Things that Bother Me about Pride!

1. A parade full of scary drag queens, unsightly men in speedos and the same old floats.



2. Drags Queens in the daylight - is that foundation or coat of primer on your face?


3. Local Clubs raising their covers while offering the same old guest DJs (so over Morales and all the other DJs who play music you never heard of and can't dance to).


4. Fags who haven't talked to you all year - smiling and hugging you while "Happy Pride".


5. Out of towners who tell you how many different Pride's they traveled to across the country.


6. Politicians and Local Businesses falling over themselves to be Gay Friendly when all they care about is your vote or money.

7. The whole rainbow thing - so overused.


8. All the ex's and one nighters who come out of the woodwork.


9. The cheap beer they charge you a fortune for at the block parties.


10. Obnoxious drunks who use the week as excuse to make a fool out of themselves and act like assholes.

Memorable Week

* Spent most of the past two weeks dealing with a surly boyfriend in theMan, who is in another one of his moods. Whether it was my working late (I have a job you know) or going out all the time (gee, it use to be the other way around in the beginning) or not paying him enough attention (this from a guy who spends most of his time on the phone talking to his friends), it was one thing after another. I think it may be a long summer.

* Life at the job has gotten little better either. Not only do I have construction workers working below me, now I have the phone guys using our area as their work space while they install a new phone system at SIC. Just another example of the Gang of Five's shoddy management skills which have led to an exodus of some of it's best workers and our steep fall in the Globe's Top 100 this year.

* Obamakin went south for two weeks to visit family but before he left we went out shopping for his trip. We had the best time as we made fun of each other's taste in clothing. He's the typical label seeker while you can usually find me near the sales racks. I usually don't like to shop with other fags (especially theMan) but Obamakin is the exception. It's only when he's out of town that I realize how much I miss the arrogant mutha fucka.

* Traveled to SE Mass to visit Mama2tone last weekend, where I spent some quality time with my dysfunctional family and went clubbing in Providence. Time with the family was good, since only my MOMS and my big SIS were around (all 3 bro's were MIA thank god). My night out in Providence was fun, too. Although it started slow, it picked up as the night went on. Since it was Sunday, MB was fairly quiet so I ended up at Club Energy, which I was glad to hear it was HIP HOP night. Funny moment of the night was when I spotted this guy I had dealt with awhile back, which didn't end so well. To avoid him, I retreated to the dance floor where I tried to lose myself in the crowd (tough when you're 6/3). But of course, as I looked in the mirror he was suddenly dancing near me. As Obamakin always says, "Dogs always find their way back". As for this dog, I had little interest and hit the bar again.

* Like many Americans, I spent Memorial Weekend close to home and hung out in the city. Not exactly the most exciting time but I did manage to have some fun. I went blading, played some hoop and went out clubbing. By the time I got back to work Tuesday my muscles were aching, I was fried from too much partying and had a nasty sun burn. So who needs to travel?

* I thought the feelings had passed over the past few weeks, but the sight of PrettyEyez this week brought all those unresolved emotions flooding back. Seeing him, I found myself flashing back to that one night a few months back. I keep reminding myself what I said back then "that I have nothing to offer you" but as time passes I find myself wanting things to be different. Yeah, right. As they say, "you play the hand your dealt". And at the present time, my hand blows!!!

Tax Rebate - Thank You

Thank You Mr. President - you know how to go out with style. Tip everyone on the way out the door. And you should, generously. After all the crap you put us through for the last seven years its the least you could do. Never mind you won't be around to pay the bill in the end. It's the thought that counts.

Thank You Congress - you know a good thing when you see it. Who could resist a win-win situation like this? Giving money to your constituency makes it look like you actually care about us and shows how serious you are about getting the economy rolling again. Plus, it easier than making harder choices on cutting federal spending and ending earmarks.

Thank You China - especially the Bank of China, for continuing to loan us the money to pay for all this, and more. Without our Big Brother in the Far East, we might actually have to make pay for something.

And last but not least, the future generations who someday will have to clean up the mess and pay the tab of their parents.

I only have one issue - stop calling it a rebate - its not free. We are not fools. We will pay this back.

A Week of Yesterdays

* Things have been quiet on the home front as TheMan has found other things to focus on instead of me. Because he can be so possessive and requires alot of attention, it's always helps when he has something else to occupy his time with. Beside getting his bike on the road, he's exciting about the return of his best friend, Scratchy, who's been in Florida all winter. TheMan can’t wait because they love doing the same thing - gambling. Something I never got into – thank God. I have enough vices. Losing money by scratching tickets or going to the Casino isn't my idea of a good time - unless it's someone else's money of course.

* Meanwhile, a friend of Scratchy, is about to be sentenced in Florida after being found guilty of leaving a car accident scene which someone was killed in. Needless to say, Scratchy is upset as is TheMan about their friend’s plight but I have little sympathy for the guy. One, he’s had a history of trouble. Second, he was drunk that night and driving when he should not have been. Third, he was aware enough to call a friend to come pick him up after he fled the scene but then told authorities he had little recollection of what happened that night. Needless to say, the judge didn’t buy the story and found him guilty. His sentencing is next week and faces up to 3-5 years behind bars. Everyone is in a tizzy. But for me, if you act irresponsibly then you better be prepared for the consequences.

* Had lunch with AngelEyez and our other friend, DC, another shrink I use to work with back in the day. DC is one of those drop dead Italian girls from Jersey, who also happens to be smart as hell. The three of us use to hangout alot when we were all working together and it had been years since we seen each other. It was like old times but less drinking and smoking cigarettes. As it is often with old friends, we spent most of the time talking about the old days and some of the fucked up kids/families we dealt with. For a brief moment I actually missed it – until my stomach churned and reminded me of the ulcer that job left me with. Regardless, it was good to have some real Girlfriends again.

* Talked with Obamakin who had two things to bring up: First, Hillary was dead in the water now after his North Carolina win, and second, he wanted to come to the defense of MrA, who he feels I gave a bad rap in my previous posting. As for Hillary’s floundering campaign, I have stated for awhile that her only chance rested in if Obama stumbled somewhere along the way. And he hasn’t – despite Reverend Wright(eous) best attempts to trip him up. And I thought I needed new friends. As for MrA, I was less kind and simply told Obamakin, that he got the press he deserved. I reminded him it was MrA who kept from me that he and AngelEyez had talked about me and made a promise never to get involved with me. I also reminded him that even though it was a stupid promise to make – he still had the chance to tell me after AngelEyez left town so I would’ve understood why she was upset. No, it took a whole year to find out the truth from her – and by then the damage had been done. Enuff said!!!

* Flippa swooped into town again last week and dropped the bombshell he's moving back to town in the fall to attend grad school. At first I was excited about the news but later on I began to think - "great another distraction back in my life". A short re-cap on our history, I met Flippa years ago when he was a Undergraduate student. Both of us had boyfriends at the time, but from the moment we first met at Buzz, we couldn't keep our hands off each other. It lasted for about a year, until he graduated and went South. We had a good time for awhile, but that was a different time. As we had dinner and drinks at Common Ground, it was evident Flippa had changed as well. He was still the energetic, sharp kid who has no problem expressing himself but there was a appealing maturity about him. The night ended with me making some excuse about having to meet TheMan, resisting every temptation to go back to his hotel with him. Flippa was cool with it but made sure he kissed me - i guess to remind me of what I was missing. It worked.

* On the way home that night, I found myself thinking you could never go back. Things are never the same. No matter how you try to recreate what you once had - it's never the same as the first time. Things change - people evolve - life goes on. The quote says it all -

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered".- Nelson Mandela

A Week Out of the Past

Well CashMoney's fundraiser was this week which set the scene for the return of AngelEyez, my last girlfriend. Needless to say, I was nervous about seeing her and thought about it much of the week. Many of my thoughts were on how things ended between us and what transpired afterwards.

Without getting into details, I basically screwed AngelEyez over emotionally then made it worse by getting involved with her one-time best buddy, MrA. I feel most guilty for the first part because I was not a good boyfriend, and basically lied to her about my involvement with men (at this time in my life I was under the delusion I was Bi). In the end, she got tired of my lack of commitment and we split.

As for getting involved with MrA, her best buddy, I didn't know till a year later, after she had left for the West Coast, that AngelEyez had made him promise never to get involved with me. But he did, and when she found out - that was it. She swore both of us, and I dumped MrA. My first really gay relationship had ended up like my last straight one did.

The fundraiser was at a private club on the South Shore where about a hundred people had crowded the room, ready to write checks to for the campaign. Looking around I didn't notice anyone famous or important, but CashMoney told me these were the people with the real money. Finally, AngelEyez showed up with some guy (not my type), and the pit in my stomach began to grow.

Always one easy to locate in a crowd, it didn't take her long to see me. Seeing those eyes again, I remembered what I fell for the first time I met her. It was hard to read her expression at first but then she smiled. The pit in my stomach disappeared. Instinctively, I grabbed her and hugged her which I think caught her off-guard. She introduced her guy, who turned out to be her boyfriend which told me marriage #one didn't work out.

While her boyfriend worked the room (he's a friend of the UnionGuy), AngelEyez and I took the time catch up. If there was any hostility in her, it wasn't evident, as most of our conversation focused on the positive. She came home from the West Coast after getting a new job offer. I told her I was a servant of corporate America. She and the Ex had one child, a little girl. I told her I spared the world of my offspring but had been with the same "person" for the past twelve years. She laughed, seeing my sarcasm had changed little over the years.

When it came time for the UnionGuy to talk, AngelEyez rejoined her man and I found CashMoney who I wanted to give props for another good party. He could tell by my mood that things had went well with AngelEyez, and joked that I might be going back to the other side. I squeezed his arm and assured him I wasn't going anywhere.

As I do at most of CashMoney's functions, I exited early but wanted to say goodbye to AngelEyez first. I was polite and friendly when I found her with her man, not wanting to ruin the good vibes. But on the way out AngelEyez followed me to the coat check, where she wanted to give me her number and told me to call. I was hesitant at first, not wanting to give her the wrong idea, but she put me in my place right off. "And don't say you going to call, and then file the number in the trash." She made me laugh. Like she use to. She knew me too well. That's why one should never get involved with a Shrink.

Driving home that night, I found myself flashing back to my time with AngelEyez, which came at a time of big changes in my life. I was approaching 30, working with crazy children and their families had made me crazy and I was living two different lives - one with her, one with whatever guy I was seeing that month. And when it all came crashing down that spring, she was just one of the many victims of the fall out.

It's funny how different people can represent different points in your life. In all our lives there is always that one person (wife, boyfriend, best friend, family) who is there for you - through good and bad. And as time goes on, they come to represent that time in your life. Both the good and bad.

In AngelEyez, I saw the bad - my insensitive, self centered and destructive ways. But also in her I saw the good - the coming of age, the realization that I had to change or I was going to drive myself to an early grave.

I may have not reached my final destination yet, but I know I am on the right path. My recent struggles with unhappiness I know realize stems from the refusal to accept things as they are. It's not that I want more out of life, it's that I know there is more to life and just want to experience it. As Obamakin says to me often, "You're never satisfied". My reply is, "Why should I?"

Marathon of a Week

It was crazy weekend in Boston, with the Marathon, Celtic and Bruin Playoffs and the Red Sox at Fenway. Went into town both days because the weather was so nice, and everywhere you went it was crowded. Between locals just wanting to get out after the long winter, and all the runners and tourist, people were everywhere. After a few hours of shopping and boy watching downtown, I decided I had enough of the mobs and retreated back to Slummerville.

Obamakin, in one of his moments of drunken clarity, said it perfectly when he told me, "You're the kinda of guy you might not take home to your mother, but you are the kinda of guy you want to bring home for one night to see what's it all about." I laughed, even though I wasn't sure what he meant about "what's it all about?"

Here's another weekly example of incompetence running amok at my job, SIC, just your average dysfunctional American company. It still amazes me with all this technology, but it still takes three different people to change a name on a client's account. And if one doesn't do their job (which is daily), it throws the whole system into a tizzy.

My and theMan’s pussy, 2pac, continues to put on the pounds. The cat eats everything - tuna, cat snacks, chips, and bacon to mention a few. We should've called his fat ass Biggie instead. Looks as if 2pac is just taking after theMan, who is also putting on some poundage. Both need to stop snacking.

Wondering the other day what would happen to the race for President if McCain chose Colin Powell as his VP.

Playing hoop the other day with my friend, Hank, he told me that he was breaking up with his BF of six years. Although I knew there had been problems but was stunned that it had gotten to this point. When I asked why, Hank, who I admit is cold sometimes, replied plainly "Because I'm bored." At first I was caught off guard by his reply and had little to say after that. But a few days later, I realize I can relate to what he was saying.

On the prowl this weekend, I ran into another buddy, ABL, while at the Machine. The slick Asian boy was on the prowl as usual, and looked good. I also ran into one of theMan's friends, who wondered where he was and made some catty remark about me cruising ABL. I ignored him even though I wanted to tell the fat fuck he was jealous no one was cruising his smelly ass. All said with love, of course.

I went to Paradise the next night which was a drag for the first hour or so, but things got interesting after that. After a few drinks and a session with KMan outside, I decided to start dancing. Then out of no where comes this Asian guy, who I recognized from the trips to Providence. For a while he danced in front of me, shaking his tight little ass and eventually shredding his shirt. We danced for the final half hour of so, and it took everything within me not to put my hands on him. Even as he stirred closer and closer to me. By the time I left I was horny as hell and wish for one moment I didn't have to go home. Then I came back to reality, put some Leona Lewis and took a cab home.

Seven More Days

* Talking to Mama2tone on the phone the other day, I found myself wondering how a woman who was educated by Nuns and goes to Church regularly can use the Lord’s Name in vain as much as she does.

* Preparing for the week, and going over our plans, I realized how little theMan and I actually do together anymore. We’ve come to a point in our lives, where he’s satisfied with life, content with hanging out at home, while me, on the other hand, remains restless and in search of something to re-ignite that fire in me.

* Had lunch with Obamakin this week, where we spent most of the hour talking about his own man problems. But as I tell my friends often, I am the last one to ask for relationship advice, given my own track record. For me, each person and relationship is different. The only real advice one can give in the end is - when in doubt, pause. Better to step back and clear your head than to make rash decision you’ll regret later. As for Obamakin, he’ll be okay - guys like him don’t have any problems finding new men.

* Sitting in a department meeting the other day at SIC, I kept thinking how out of step much of Corporate America is. Companies like SIC have become as big and bloated as the Government, with too many people with titles and not enough people actually doing something. In an age where everything is happening at a faster pace, Corporate America (hello GMC, Ford) plods along as if its on a Sunday drive. Until Corporate America reshapes the way it does business, the rest of the World will continue to profit at our expense.

* Got a phone call from Flipboy who will be back in Boston again this week. He wants to hang out, which I’m reluctant about given our history. But then again, nothing else is going on these days and he might be just what I need to snap me out of this fog. Maybe I’ll bring him to the fundraiser CashMoney is planning - to help deal with seeing AngelEyez for first time in years.

* Went rollerblading one morning this weekend for the first time this season. After working out some kinks, catching my wind and settling my racing heart, it actually turned into a pretty nice ride. Listening to my tunes, the trek from Harvard Square to MGH went fairly smoothly - given there were few people out due to the cold and drizzly. It felt good to get out after a winter of being caged in. Maybe next time the Sun will be out.

* Finished the weekend catching up on my sleep and going out mostly. Friday night, I went by Machine which was cool after I did another Kiss-and-Run with some guy I met. On Saturday night, I was more subdued and ended up hanging out with one of my buddies - Kman - who has a new “friend” who I can only call Yummie. We smoke some weed where I couldn’t keep my eyes off the slender sex-pot as I was thinking to myself “Great - another temptation.”

* Yesterday, LordVader sent one of his peons to deliever a CD he made for me which I ended up listening to at my desk. It started with his usual catty remarks before moving into the music. As I listened, I could only imagine who he was “doing” at the time he was recording. The Dark One's subtle way of trying to play mind games with me. Afterwards, I did what I did with the other CDs - locked in my desk drawer. Someday they may be worth something.

* Had a dream about PrettyEyez the other night, which was unsettling since I've done my best to avoid him and not think about him. I guess ignoring him isn't going to get it done.

One Week at a Time

Spent most of the week cleaning up messes - some self inflicted.

* Made peace with TheMan this week, with dinner and a nice night out, which reminded me that at one point in our lives we actually enjoyed stuff like this.

* Struggled at work trying to finish a project while construction guys and movers swarmed around preparing for our move while renovations are done. Typical SIC, we had our worse quarters in years and our stock plummets, so what does the Band of Bozo’s running the company do - keep spending.

* Ran into another face from the past, C, one day while shopping. It's always awkward running into someone who's only connection you is one night in bed. But C was always cool, and friendly - even after he found out who I was. We talked for a bit and agreed to keep in touch after he gave me his number. Afterwards, I added it to my long list of numbers I’ll probably never call.

* Visited one of the schools I worked years ago to visit some friends and join them for drinks afterwards. It struck me how little had changed for many of them, besides the wear and tears of their profession. Their talk was dominated by children and their jobs, which reminded me of why I left. Later, I approached my old friend, MrGreen, about the real reason why I had come by - to find out what he knew about BlueEyez being back in town. The nappy hair giant hadn't heard anything about her but would ask around - then delivered a shot by suggesting I ask MrA. Wiseass! (Side note - MrA is a story for another day).

* Had to listen to my friend, MsHillary, who in her mid-fifties has become one of those loyal members of Hillary’s army. In Hillary, she sees a lot of herself and her own life story so she remains a steadfast supporter of her, despite her fight with Obama. She was incensed about a Boston Globe article regarding her girl and vowed not to vote "any of those son of a bitches" if she didn't win. Tired of the same old boy's politics, this women, like many others like her, have drawn their line in the sand with Democratic Party - either let a woman run things for once or its hello four more years of Republican rule. How serious the potential threat to an Abomey campaign the disenfranchising of thousands of woman supporters remains to be seen but if they're anything like MsHillary, the damage could be disastrous in another close election.

* Went out one night alone and saw PrettyEyez, which lead me to do a 180 and exit. Not that I was being shady, I just find it hard to be around him without remembering that night. Weeks later, I still can't shake the flashbacks of our night together. Ended up at P where I danced with this cute black guy who I had never seen before. We barely said two words most of the night but he had nice lips - if u get my drift.

* Finally, I was summoned to the tower by LordVader, who after several weeks of silence wanted to see me again. We had dinner, where we talked mostly about him which I didn’t mind because it was less time spent talking about me. As I listened to him, I thought how both hypnotizing and scary the dark one could be. Unlike most of the men in my life, Vader does little to hide who he is, what he wants and how he feels about something. Unfortunately, it usually comes at the expense of others. After a few more hours of our usual visit, I made my exit and made the long walk to South Station in the rain - but it did little to wash away the nasty feeling I had.

Another Week in Paradise...

Same old drama playing out like repeats on television. The Man is mad, work is stressing me out and there seems to be no relief in sight.



* The Man found something to have a problem over this week and went into his normal tizzy. In the old days, I would've gotten all wrapped up in his drama but these days I just find it aggravating and a waste of my time. These days I find myself wondering if this is ALL there is? There's gotta be more to life than just the same old script each day.



* Sybil is back at work and picking up right where she left off - pissing people off. It's funny how some people believe a job title protects them from getting their ass whooped. When I watch her treat others nasty, I just hope she comes at me with an attitude like that. I'll light that fat ass, pj-wearing bitch up so bad, someone might need to call security.



* My friend, Obamakin, wanted me to clarify that he was not "that upset" about my comments and then proceeded to say he knows I'm a closet Obama supporter because "we're both part of the same club". Since I'm not a US Senator and in the Senate club, I realized he was referring to our mixed race heritage. Now you know why I keep telling myself I need to get new friends.



* Speaking of politics, my old boss, MrCashMoney, who I still do occassionally work for, told me his new client is local union guy who is planning to run for his town open selectman seat. He was planning a fundraiser for the guy, when he noticed a name on the guest list. He showed it to me and I felt one of those "pits in my stomach" moments. It was the last girl I had a real relationship, BlueEyez, who I had thought was now on the West Coast. CashMoney smiled and asked me if I wanted to work the project? Asshole!



* Mama 2tone called to let me know older brother, Guy-Y, was done with his most recent girlfriend - because her husband cut off her credit cards and stopped paying her rent. I told her I appreciated the update but told her to call me when my bro pays up his child support and gets sober. Family!



* Went out with some work friends to a straight club downtown and talked with one of my friends, MrMalboro, about how similiar gay and straight clubs are now. Both serve bad drinks, charge too much money and play the same music. Afterwards, instead of heading home, I had a night cap at P where I ended up talking with this guy for awhile. All was cool, as he seemed able to hold a conversation, until it abruptly turned to "so lets go fuck". I thanked him for the drink and made a quick exit. Walking home, I put on my Sony and listened to Mary. She's been through the storm, too!

The Week that Was!

* Spent alot of my week dealing with the "Man" who continues to make life a stress after his return from Florida. Sometimes I wonder if there has to be something better than this. When so many of my friends are seeking men, why is it I am running away from them?

* "Mamma 2tone" made her appearance in the city this week, took me and the "Man" out for lunch and ended the day by buying me my new CK jacket and "the Man" yet another pair of jeans. Left me wondering 2 things - how many fuckin jeans do you need? And who will be upset more if things go south with "the Man", us or my Mamma?

* Nervously, met with a ghost from the past, I'll call him "Flippa", who was in town on business and had dinner. The mere sight of him got me going, and after a few drinks, he was up to his old tricks. Lucky me, these days I am preoccupied with someone else and managed to escape with just some making out in the back of a cab. On the way home, I found it ironic that I just walked away from a guy I once would've stabbed my best friend for.

* Got into an testy exchange with my friend, lets call him "Obamakin", who as you may guess is an Obama disciple. He asked me about his speech on race and I made a comment about his "throwing his grandmamma under the bus" which didn't go over well. I guess no sense of humor. But seriously, although it was a nice speech (like most of his) it touched on little new ground and did little to silence his critics. (note - I am already happy with the election because any three of the candidates is a hella lot better than what we have in there now).

* I also pissed off one of my boss' at work, MrSlick, when my report critized one of his boys and his department for the losses as a result of the mortgage meltdown. Like they needed to me to tell them that the staggering housing market would be a cost us pretty.

* And through it the whole week of drama, I find myself still distracted and thinking of Pretty Eyez. I wonder how it can be to think of someone you hardly know, probably have little in common with and only had one encounter with. All I do know is that I decided to stay away from him. Really.

Just Another Week

* Spent most of the past week in a fog after a hot, chance encounter with Mr. "Pretty Eyez" who I can't seem to get out of my mind.

* The "Man" returned from Florida this week, and picked up where he left off - driving me crazy.

* "Mamma 2Tone" is taking train into town tomorrow to take me to lunch, which usually means two hours of hearing about my dysfunctional family and the usual remarks about her favorite - Tiger Woods. My mother watching golf because of her thing for light skin men - give me a break.

* My manager, who we call "Sybil", is gone for two weeks which is like being on vacation myself.

* Went clubbing this weekend, minus the "Man", and had a good time despite the obnoxious lushes, wandering hands, bad music and weak drinks.

* Spent more money shopping this week, where I saw and talked with "Pretty Eyez" - talk about tempting fate.

Ten Things I usually Do Daily!

1. I usually wake up before my alarm clock since I am one of those kinda of people who once awake usually can't fall back asleep even if I was out all night clubbing.

2. Have a couple of cups of one of God's gift to us Humans - Coffee. Without it life would be a real drag.

3. Do my push-ups and situps since going to gym daily is out of the question, 15 minutes of these once a day goes a long way.

4. Get to work early since I learned to beat the competition it always easier if you have a head start.

5. Curse someone out for being ignorant - whether it be some fool in a car, someone at work or on the street, since they bank on the fact that most people won't say something.

6. Go for a walk to clear my mind, usually in the morning while at work, because I've learned its a good way to clear the clutter out of one's head - plus its good for your heart.

7. Display an act of random kindness - whether it be holding a door for someone, giving up your seat or calling your mother to say I love you - you'd be amazed at the benefits to your state of mind.

8. Take my aggressions out on some video or pc game - there's nothing like bowling over a linebacker on Madden or blowing up some bad guys to take the edge off from the day.

9. Have a cocktail, usually a gin and tonic, because there's nothing like one after a long day of work and a good meal.

10. Blaze another one of God's Creations because if more people smoked weed it probably be a nicer world.

Things that Get Under MySkin.

Ignorance - As much I try to think that its not possible but there are still people who base their hate on the color of one's skin, one's religion, nationality and sexuality.

Smelly People - Not only is it unhealthy not to clean oneself but it's an offense to the rest of human kind.

Extremist - Whether its politicians, religious leaders or anti-causes - those who use hate and fear to get their way have dominated far too long.

SUV Owners - Even as men die in the Middle East to protect our Oil, and our environment is being overwhelmed, alot of American's continue to live life as if there is no price for one's materialistic ways.

Loud People - Why is it some people think the louder they talk, the more you will like or agree with them?
Conformists - From Gangsta fashion, to Crocs to anything Burberry, whatever happened to standing out in the crowd by being your own person.

Laziness - The failure to try something just because its requires some effort is a failure to reach one's potential.

Welfare Mentality - The notion that one is owed something because of the color of their skin, the number of kids they spit out or the circumstances of their unbringing is insane - didn't your Mamma teach you "Nothing is for Free."

Band Wagon Fans - Whatever happened to team loyalty. I was born in New England, so whether or not I liked it, I was a Red Sox-Patriots-Bruins and Celtics fan. Through good and bad. Changing team colors for the flavor of the month is a sin!

The Gang of Three - Which I refer to as the Government, Organized Religion and the Mass Media who try daily to tell the rest of us how to act, how we should live and how we should think.

10 Things Turn Me On!

Exotic Looking Men - the blond haired, blue eye guy isn't my type. I prefer distinct looking men who stand out in a crowd.

Football - whether it be watching on tv or playing Madden, nothing gets the blood pumping more than all the blood, sweat and tears.

Wrestling - there just something about grappling around with another inshape guy.

Johnny Depp - One of the few white boys that make me melt.


Beaches - The warmth of the sun, the feel of the sand, the roar of the ocean and the beautiful bodies make beaches as close to heaven as you can get.

John Legend - his voice, his eyes and his piano playing would tame me forever!!!

Steak - Nothing beats a medium rare piece of meat.

Hoop on a hot day - playing one on one in the blazing sun, shirtless with other hot bodies is a perfect way to spend an afternoon.

Information - I make my living off information, the more I have the more I make.

Making Out - With lips like mine what did you expect?